How To Deal With The “Liberal Genius” Coming Over For Thanksgiving

Today is the big day. Turkey Day. Thanksgiving. The Show.

Following the annual tradition of watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, the nation will get to watch in horror as the Chicago Bears find a way to lose to the Lions of Detroit… But that’s nothing compared to dealing with the newly minted geniuses returning home from their first few months at college, and boy do they know everything.

Yes, Thanksgiving is a time when families come together, and share a meal. For a lot of families, it’s the only time of the year some of them will see one another, which is a reason for excitement and anxiety. Sometimes both at the same time.

Being a millennial, I’m constantly bombarded by content that mocks “boomers”, and Thanksgiving is typically the time of the year “my people” rip on the elderly for having such things as “values” and “morals” and “standards”.

I’ve seen countless “oh great, I have to deal with my boomer uncle” posts on social media, and while most of them are in jest, the sentiment remains the same: old people’s opinions aren’t important. Not only are they unimportant, they are simply wrong… and racist.

These young people have already decided that they are going to argue with you over something, which is why I have a plan: don’t talk politics this year.

We all know the economy is doing great. We all know that unemployment is at the lowest it’s ever been. We all know that we are bringing troops home. We all know we are getting conservative justices on the Supreme Court. We all know we got tax breaks.

Since we know that, there really isn’t a point to bring it up. At this point, talking about Trump’s successes should feel like talking about the color of the sky: the answer is obvious.

Now, I’m the first to admit I like to get people riled up. I’m not trying to save your family by keeping political discourse to a minimum. Really, I just know these kids are coming home with their facts, and figures, and are just WAITING for someone to bring up “immigration” or “LGBT” so they can hit them with the “truth” they learned in their short semester away from the nest.

They are bursting at the seams, waiting to harp on you for “polluting”, and a bunch of other problems they feel like blaming “boomers” for. Don’t even give them that chance. If anything, they’ll end up being upset they didn’t get into an argument, or even worse, they might realize they were the ones ruining everyone else’s Thanksgiving…

And of course if that doesn’t work, just ask what they plan to do with their English degree when they finish school. That’s one of my favorites.

Happy Thanksgiving. Go Bears.